somewhat better
Ever since my tumble down the stairs, I have still been working long hours, even though I probably shouldn't be so that my ankle can heal properly. It is still swollen and slightly black and blue. I ice it every day and wrap it up before I go to work. It isn't much considering that most of my shifts are 9 hour shifts and I don't get to sit down except for the last hour when I count my deposite. It sucks, but tomorrow is my last day off until next Friday when we have our Baby Bronco retreat weekend. I know that I will make it will just make for a long 7 straight days of working.
And I've been trying to call my mom, but I haven't been to get a hold of her because our schedules are almost completely opposite. I just want to know how my brother is doing since he will/might be a dad in two weeks. See, my brother was dating this really crazy girl who is bipolar and just flew off the handle at really stupid shit, and she manipulated him all the time. Well, anyway they broke up, but he continued to visit her from time to time, and last January she said she was pregnant and that it was my brother's. Anyway, everyone is pushing for a paternity test asap because a) we don't want her to be having his kid, b) she's nuts and we want to be rid of her, and c) she's lied about being pregnant before to get him to stay, so we're thinking that she may be lying that this kid is his. She is sooo mean and says horrible things to/about him and about our family. It is just a bad situation. If the baby is his then it is quite possible that he might try to get custody of it because she is so unstable. Who knows, this is so fucked up.
And I'm starting to get really worried about next year. I have one draft of my CA done and sent to Kittie despite being horribly ill at the time of the deadline, but that's all I have done. I've some poetry that I like and a prose that I like, but I don't know if I LOVE them enough to use for forensics, let alone my senior year. I just want next year to go well for me so bad, and I'm scared that I'm going to fuck it up. I think that would be one of the biggest disappointments of my life. Admittedly, I do have a quarter under my belt and that helps me to believe in myself, but what if that was just luck and not talent. Ugh, it makes me so scared.
Contemplate this: For people who are constantly underdogs overcoming adversity, how badly do they crash and burn when they can't rise above anymore?
And I've been trying to call my mom, but I haven't been to get a hold of her because our schedules are almost completely opposite. I just want to know how my brother is doing since he will/might be a dad in two weeks. See, my brother was dating this really crazy girl who is bipolar and just flew off the handle at really stupid shit, and she manipulated him all the time. Well, anyway they broke up, but he continued to visit her from time to time, and last January she said she was pregnant and that it was my brother's. Anyway, everyone is pushing for a paternity test asap because a) we don't want her to be having his kid, b) she's nuts and we want to be rid of her, and c) she's lied about being pregnant before to get him to stay, so we're thinking that she may be lying that this kid is his. She is sooo mean and says horrible things to/about him and about our family. It is just a bad situation. If the baby is his then it is quite possible that he might try to get custody of it because she is so unstable. Who knows, this is so fucked up.
And I'm starting to get really worried about next year. I have one draft of my CA done and sent to Kittie despite being horribly ill at the time of the deadline, but that's all I have done. I've some poetry that I like and a prose that I like, but I don't know if I LOVE them enough to use for forensics, let alone my senior year. I just want next year to go well for me so bad, and I'm scared that I'm going to fuck it up. I think that would be one of the biggest disappointments of my life. Admittedly, I do have a quarter under my belt and that helps me to believe in myself, but what if that was just luck and not talent. Ugh, it makes me so scared.
Contemplate this: For people who are constantly underdogs overcoming adversity, how badly do they crash and burn when they can't rise above anymore?
posted by sljones @ 3:50 PM
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