Going to crazy town--any one want jump on the bus?!

I am seriously going crazy. It's not anything specific, I just I feel like the world is spinning out of my control, and I really can't handle that. I also have that feeling of being in a hamster wheel--I am running all over the place as fast as I can, but not getting anywhere. For instance, here was my schedule yesterday:

9-11am: homework at the GC
11: class
12: meeting
1pm: class
2: speech work
3-4:15pm: coaching
5pm-2:30am: work

And I didn't even have time to eat anything until 12midnight. It was horrible, and I was going to just stay up all night since I had class this morning--but I fell asleep and missed class. Oh, and there was a meeting for the Women's History Month committee, but I was in bed. The thing makes all of this suck even more is that I have come down with a horrible cold--I just feel like I am dying. I do feel slightly better though, that KIttie cacelled the trip to Texas this weekend. We would have been gone for five fucking days and I would have probably jumped out of the fucking van. I am so relieved. If Kittie had not cancelled the trip I would have went, even though deep down I knew that it was a bad idea for my health. So, that's good.

Also, I am so frustrated with my lot in life at this moment. Last night at work, I was in drive-thru and I was handing out orders while another guy was taking orders and money. These two teenage kids came through and they asked me if the guy taking orders was gay, and I said no. The teen then goes, "Well, I don't like that." I gave him this horrible death glare, said, "thanks" and walked away. What was I supposed to do? Mother fuckers. I wanted to jump through the window and yell at them and tell them that there is nothing wrong with being gay and that there is nothing that they should not "like". But I couldn't because it would have caused some type of drama that they would have complained about and I would have lost my job. i can't afford that--it's like the whole shopping at Wal Mart thing. I am so angry that just because I was in my uniform I couldn't fight against something that I would fight against in my normal life.

I am so ashamed. I wish that I could have said something, but what? And how? I hate this feeling. I haven't done anything that I should be ashamed of in years. I am a proud person who adheres to what she believes in, and this occurrence is eating me up inside. I just want to find one of those placards that people wear on street corners, and on one side put "My life, my way" and on the other side put, "Prejudices not accepted". I want to take it and walk around this stupid fucking town.

Contemplate this: Why does fighting injustice sometimtes have to feel so impossible?