The Clock is winding down

In 2 1/2 weeks, I will be moving to Lincoln. In 1 1/2 weeks, I will be making a quick trip down to sign my lease and drop off a car load of stuff. I’m starting to get really nervous and scared. I don’t like change and I don’t like saying good-bye and I definitely don’t like moving. I think that I would be more okay with everything that’s going on right now, if it didn’t feel like I was just bumming around and hoping that I find something to do each day that will pass the time and not cost me any more. I turned in my cable box, the cords, and the remote last week. So, that means that I’m piggybacking someone else’s wireless and have no tv. Yeah, there’s stuff online, but I feel kinda guilty putting that much strain on my laptop ALL the time. What about watching DVDs on my tv you ask? Well…my DVD player crapped out and it won’t play ANYthing. It kinda blows and so I’ve been using my laptop to watch DVDs, but again I don’t know want to wear out my laptop. Ugh.

I talked to my mom last week (and I need to call her again to make sure our plans are solidified). My parents will come to MN on Friday, July 17. Hopefully, there will be people from my life here who will come and help us pack stuff into our vehicles and the trailer. My plan is to have everything packed and we only need to load stuff. My mom said that my dad thought when we were done with that we could drive a couple hours and then spend the night at a truck stop. THEN we could drive the rest of the way to Lincoln. Um, I hate that idea. A LOT. Where are we supposed to sleep? Are we going to pay for a motel? Are we going to try to sleep in the vehicles? Okay, where? My crap is going to be everywhere and we will probably have to sleep sitting up. No way. Hopefully, I can convince my parents that we can just leave out a mattress and an air mattress and some lamps and sleep in my apartment Friday night. Then we can drive to Lincoln. I know that it will be a long trip for them, but I think that it’s safer than sleeper at a truck stop with ALL of my belongings.

So, that makes me really nervous, but I think that my parents will go with whatever I think is best. The thing that makes me the most nervous is whether or not I will have enough money squirreled away in my checking account to survive until my first paycheck. I need to check and see if I will get my first paycheck at the beginning or end of August. Probably the end. And it probably will come AFTER I need to pay for a crap ton of stuff for school. SIGH. I just try really hard to be smart with my money and yet, it always seems that every 6 months or so, I am in a bind and don’t think that I have any money. I hope that when I am done with school and have a fulltime job I don’t have to worry about this crap as much.

And of course, my social life. I have friends here in MN who I genuinely care about and I think that they care about me, but I am getting worried that when it comes time to move it will just be my parents and I. When I was in undergrad, I remember asking people to help me move and I got a couple of confirmations. AND THEN when the time came, NO ONE showed up. I could totally see that happening here. My Dad has made it pretty clear that this is probably the last time that they will help me move and that they don’t want to do it by themselves. Well, I don’t want that to happen, either! But, the best that I can hope for is that people will actually help me. I’ve also contacted a bunch of people in Lincoln in the hopes that they can help me out too. BUT, some of them haven’t even met me, so my expectations aren’t that high. I just hope that there are enough people there that it won’t be a giant pain in the ass.

Contemplate this: How much faith can you have in situations that don’t usually warrant it?